World Breastfeeding Week 2011

A little post in honor of World Breastfeeding Week.

I wrote this post about our breastfeeding experience when Isaac was 6 weeks old and never really updated on the subject much, other than a mention that we were still nursing at 3 months.

Those early weeks are still seared into my mind. I'm sure they will never leave me, and I wouldn't want them to. Breastfeeding is absolutely the toughest thing I have ever endured. The physical pain that went on for so long combined with the heartache I faced day after day far outweighs the pain of laboring for 17 hours and bringing my boy into the world without drugs. Enduring breastfeeding taught me that I really can face anything this life decides to bring my way. So many moms choose not to breastfeed, and I really do get it. It's tough business! To some people it comes naturally as it should, but to most, breastfeeding is an art that has to be learned.

I've been nursing my little love for five months now and I'm happy with where we are. I don't really have my eyes set on a goal of how far we want to get any longer, I'm just so thankful that we have made it here. With my pregnant friends and family members, I've learned lately that it's more important to encourage just getting through those oh so threatening early weeks, and then nursing as long as you are able to.

So my little man still has lip tie, we don't have any plans to have it clipped. Possibly when he's older if it needs to be, but not any time soon. Yes, if we had it done now it would most likely make breastfeeding much more comfortable for me, but I've sort of just become accustomed to the discomfort it sometimes brings. It's not unbearable, and as he grows I'm thinking it will continue to be less and less of a problem. 

I'm not a completely crazy breastfeeding advocate, maybe I should be? But I'm not. Most likely because I know what our experience was like and how challenging it can be. So I really just want to give a little encouragement, my goal isn't to make any mom who makes different choices feel ashamed of those choices. Just know that it truly does get easier. It does.

I remember thinking every single day that I couldn't possibly get through another feeding because of the pain I was in, but somehow one feeding at a time passed us by. I remember the day it finally came down to choosing between formula or trying to pump for the next feeding, and crying uncontrollably when I accidentally spilt the .5 ounces I had spent an hour pumping.

While I was pregnant I had such high expectations for the bond that breastfeeding would bring us, along with the great health benefits for the both of us. So even though it took enduring brutally exhausting pain, breastfeeding remained the only option I was ever really willing to accept for my boy. I would say that it's better not to place those expectations on yourself, but for myself I'm thankful because if I hadn't I know that we wouldn't still be nursing today. 

Breastfeeding my little boy is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I love being the source that soothes his hungry belly. I love knowing that I'm giving him the best nutrition available to him. I love having this bond that's just between him and I, because I know he will be grown and Independent far too soon. If you are pregnant and hoping to breastfeed, prepare yourself in every way that you can before the birth. I didn't do this! I just assumed that it would be as natural as my body giving birth on it's own, but that isn't always the case!  

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

babies, babies, babies!

Ok, so I don't know how the subject of more babies even comes up when you're first one is only nearing 5 months, but somehow it does, and often! I've dreamed of one day being a mommy for as long as I can remember, and I always knew that I wanted at least three little jewels. But since having my son I question the thought of another baby so often. While I was pregnant I loved this baby I was having so much and knew my life would be changed, but I never knew THIS level of love even existed. Sometimes it truthfully almost hurts when I think about how much I love this kid. It's not at all that I have more love for him than I do my husband, and especially God, but it's just such a different type of love.. from a place somewhere inside I never knew existed.

My thing with more babies is that I feel so fulfilled with my love for Isaac. He's my world. He's my only child.. and so I really just can't figure out what it would be like to be a mom of two or more. And I'm wondering what's wrong with me because I've only ever heard of moms wanting MORE babies because of the joy the first brings. But I have this constant thought of not ever wanting to take anything away from him, I don't want this amazing little boy of mine to ever be pushed to the side to make way for another. Yes, I have this wicked little thought that creeps into my mind and makes me wonder how my heart can possibly be stretched enough to love even more?

At the same time I would love for Isaac to have a sibling, a brother or sister that he could love on and teach new things to. Someone of his blood who will still be here when Matt and I leave this world behind. (Although I'm still believing we will all just be raptured together, ha)

I grew up as one of five siblings and while it was a little annoying at times, I completely love having a big family. Matt absolutely wants another, and deep inside I know that it will happen. I love the thought of adding to our family, but there's plenty of questions I have for mamas of two or more.

We have a good long while before a second becomes a reality, so Ill just keep loving this boy of mine with everything I have.

Doesn't his cuteness just make you want to scream? Or laugh? Or have more babies?? I can hardly stand it.

With patience being something you have to accept rather you like it or not, I really wish it would come in an easier package. I've been counting down the days all month, waiting for September 30th to arrive. The day we'll find out if we are having a son or a daughter. The feeling is something I can't really describe, finding out the gender brings an entirely new bond with our baby.

I already have colors and so many other things picked out for both genders. We have our names chosen, but I guess the wait is a good thing since we still need to decide if we will announce the name along with the gender, or if we want to wait until the birth and meeting our baby. I can't wait for September to come to an end, we will be celebrating my 21st birthday and the gender reveal party together with family and friends. Good food and pretty reveal cupcakes waiting for dessert. Although I won't be ordering my first drink on my own, this will defiantly be the best birthday ever.

I'm hoping to take on some new handmade projects and start sewing a lot of our baby's items as soon as the gender is confirmed. I should have a few of those things to post sometime in October.

So many things have been changing for us and playing out perfectly since finding out I was pregnant in late June, this has been one life changing  journey for sure<3