World Breastfeeding Week 2011

A little post in honor of World Breastfeeding Week.

I wrote this post about our breastfeeding experience when Isaac was 6 weeks old and never really updated on the subject much, other than a mention that we were still nursing at 3 months.

Those early weeks are still seared into my mind. I'm sure they will never leave me, and I wouldn't want them to. Breastfeeding is absolutely the toughest thing I have ever endured. The physical pain that went on for so long combined with the heartache I faced day after day far outweighs the pain of laboring for 17 hours and bringing my boy into the world without drugs. Enduring breastfeeding taught me that I really can face anything this life decides to bring my way. So many moms choose not to breastfeed, and I really do get it. It's tough business! To some people it comes naturally as it should, but to most, breastfeeding is an art that has to be learned.

I've been nursing my little love for five months now and I'm happy with where we are. I don't really have my eyes set on a goal of how far we want to get any longer, I'm just so thankful that we have made it here. With my pregnant friends and family members, I've learned lately that it's more important to encourage just getting through those oh so threatening early weeks, and then nursing as long as you are able to.

So my little man still has lip tie, we don't have any plans to have it clipped. Possibly when he's older if it needs to be, but not any time soon. Yes, if we had it done now it would most likely make breastfeeding much more comfortable for me, but I've sort of just become accustomed to the discomfort it sometimes brings. It's not unbearable, and as he grows I'm thinking it will continue to be less and less of a problem. 

I'm not a completely crazy breastfeeding advocate, maybe I should be? But I'm not. Most likely because I know what our experience was like and how challenging it can be. So I really just want to give a little encouragement, my goal isn't to make any mom who makes different choices feel ashamed of those choices. Just know that it truly does get easier. It does.

I remember thinking every single day that I couldn't possibly get through another feeding because of the pain I was in, but somehow one feeding at a time passed us by. I remember the day it finally came down to choosing between formula or trying to pump for the next feeding, and crying uncontrollably when I accidentally spilt the .5 ounces I had spent an hour pumping.

While I was pregnant I had such high expectations for the bond that breastfeeding would bring us, along with the great health benefits for the both of us. So even though it took enduring brutally exhausting pain, breastfeeding remained the only option I was ever really willing to accept for my boy. I would say that it's better not to place those expectations on yourself, but for myself I'm thankful because if I hadn't I know that we wouldn't still be nursing today. 

Breastfeeding my little boy is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. I love being the source that soothes his hungry belly. I love knowing that I'm giving him the best nutrition available to him. I love having this bond that's just between him and I, because I know he will be grown and Independent far too soon. If you are pregnant and hoping to breastfeed, prepare yourself in every way that you can before the birth. I didn't do this! I just assumed that it would be as natural as my body giving birth on it's own, but that isn't always the case!  

Happy World Breastfeeding Week!

Breastfeeding

oh my. I feel the same as I did trying to find a way to put Isaac's birth story into words a few weeks ago. (I'll share our birth story sometime next week).

While I was pregnant I never questioned rather I would breastfeed my baby or not, it was just the plan, although I really didn't know much at all about breastfeeding.
My little man is 6 weeks old now and we are still struggling. Well, I'm struggling. Isaac is growing healthy, eating plenty, and loves nursing. He takes little breaks to let out giggles and smiles (melts my heart).
My body grew my baby and gave birth to him so you would think I could feed the boy too, but it hasn't been all that simple. Our natural birth at Nativiti birth center was amazing and we will be back if there happens to ever be a second baby, but we were sent home 4 hours after his birth and there really isn't any breastfeeding support given. After dealing with a bad latch we finally saw a lactation consultant when he was a week old. The first thing she told us was that Isaac's palate was a little different and not the "typical" for a breastfeeding baby. She said that while breastfeeding is absolutely still possible, we would just have to find a way to adjust and make it work for us. She taught me how to position him and latch, and then recommended a Motherlove cream because we had mild thrush. I had never even heard of that evil 6 letter word until then.
Well, we have spent these past six weeks going to appointment after appointment with our LC consultant, midwives, pediatricians, and doctors begging for help. With each treatment we try it grows more out of control. We've tried every prescription offered to us from Nystatin to Diflucan, and every natural remedy offered as well. Gentian Violet was of no help either. I've had no relief.
It's not even worth it to try and describe the pain, I would literally rather give birth unmedicated all over again over dealing with this. It's by far the most excruciating, exhausting pain I've ever experienced and not being able to treat it makes it that much more painful.

My opinions on breastfeeding are forever changed. I've never been concerned with the choices other moms make anyway, but I wouldn't for a second think that anyone should ever have to endure through this sort of pain. I'm not even sure how I have lasted this long to be honest, it's just what I really wanted for us so that has kept me going one day at a time. Matt & I have already had conversations deciding to switch to formula, I just haven't been able to let go of the small bit of hope I still have. I've cried more tears from this pain than I have in all my life, and at five weeks old I finally started pumping and bottle feeding, but after a couple days I realized that was causing even more problems so stopped and started breastfeeding again.
I've adjusted my diet as much as possible to try and kill this off, and have been trying new probiotics and other things. Next week we are looking for help one more time and seeing an amazing OB that I'm pretty hopeful about. They have called twice just to see how I'm holding up and offer a few tips.
Even with an unpromising start, I've loved nursing my baby and hope to continue for a while, but at the end of the day I know I need to be as healthy as possible emotionally and physically, so I'm ok with eventually switching to formula if that's what has to work best for our family. But for now, send prayers for next week!

And on a happier note, here's a picture of my beautiful boy :)