oh my. I feel the same as I did trying to find a way to put Isaac's birth story into words a few weeks ago. (I'll share our birth story sometime next week).
While I was pregnant I never questioned rather I would breastfeed my baby or not, it was just the plan, although I really didn't know much at all about breastfeeding.
My little man is 6 weeks old now and we are still struggling. Well, I'm struggling. Isaac is growing healthy, eating plenty, and loves nursing. He takes little breaks to let out giggles and smiles (melts my heart).
My body grew my baby and gave birth to him so you would think I could feed the boy too, but it hasn't been all that simple. Our natural birth at Nativiti birth center was amazing and we will be back if there happens to ever be a second baby, but we were sent home 4 hours after his birth and there really isn't any breastfeeding support given. After dealing with a bad latch we finally saw a lactation consultant when he was a week old. The first thing she told us was that Isaac's palate was a little different and not the "typical" for a breastfeeding baby. She said that while breastfeeding is absolutely still possible, we would just have to find a way to adjust and make it work for us. She taught me how to position him and latch, and then recommended a Motherlove cream because we had mild thrush. I had never even heard of that evil 6 letter word until then.
Well, we have spent these past six weeks going to appointment after appointment with our LC consultant, midwives, pediatricians, and doctors begging for help. With each treatment we try it grows more out of control. We've tried every prescription offered to us from Nystatin to Diflucan, and every natural remedy offered as well. Gentian Violet was of no help either. I've had no relief.
It's not even worth it to try and describe the pain, I would literally rather give birth unmedicated all over again over dealing with this. It's by far the most excruciating, exhausting pain I've ever experienced and not being able to treat it makes it that much more painful.
My opinions on breastfeeding are forever changed. I've never been concerned with the choices other moms make anyway, but I wouldn't for a second think that anyone should ever have to endure through this sort of pain. I'm not even sure how I have lasted this long to be honest, it's just what I really wanted for us so that has kept me going one day at a time. Matt & I have already had conversations deciding to switch to formula, I just haven't been able to let go of the small bit of hope I still have. I've cried more tears from this pain than I have in all my life, and at five weeks old I finally started pumping and bottle feeding, but after a couple days I realized that was causing even more problems so stopped and started breastfeeding again.
I've adjusted my diet as much as possible to try and kill this off, and have been trying new probiotics and other things. Next week we are looking for help one more time and seeing an amazing OB that I'm pretty hopeful about. They have called twice just to see how I'm holding up and offer a few tips.
Even with an unpromising start, I've loved nursing my baby and hope to continue for a while, but at the end of the day I know I need to be as healthy as possible emotionally and physically, so I'm ok with eventually switching to formula if that's what has to work best for our family. But for now, send prayers for next week!
And on a happier note, here's a picture of my beautiful boy :)
While I was pregnant I never questioned rather I would breastfeed my baby or not, it was just the plan, although I really didn't know much at all about breastfeeding.
My little man is 6 weeks old now and we are still struggling. Well, I'm struggling. Isaac is growing healthy, eating plenty, and loves nursing. He takes little breaks to let out giggles and smiles (melts my heart).
My body grew my baby and gave birth to him so you would think I could feed the boy too, but it hasn't been all that simple. Our natural birth at Nativiti birth center was amazing and we will be back if there happens to ever be a second baby, but we were sent home 4 hours after his birth and there really isn't any breastfeeding support given. After dealing with a bad latch we finally saw a lactation consultant when he was a week old. The first thing she told us was that Isaac's palate was a little different and not the "typical" for a breastfeeding baby. She said that while breastfeeding is absolutely still possible, we would just have to find a way to adjust and make it work for us. She taught me how to position him and latch, and then recommended a Motherlove cream because we had mild thrush. I had never even heard of that evil 6 letter word until then.
Well, we have spent these past six weeks going to appointment after appointment with our LC consultant, midwives, pediatricians, and doctors begging for help. With each treatment we try it grows more out of control. We've tried every prescription offered to us from Nystatin to Diflucan, and every natural remedy offered as well. Gentian Violet was of no help either. I've had no relief.
It's not even worth it to try and describe the pain, I would literally rather give birth unmedicated all over again over dealing with this. It's by far the most excruciating, exhausting pain I've ever experienced and not being able to treat it makes it that much more painful.
My opinions on breastfeeding are forever changed. I've never been concerned with the choices other moms make anyway, but I wouldn't for a second think that anyone should ever have to endure through this sort of pain. I'm not even sure how I have lasted this long to be honest, it's just what I really wanted for us so that has kept me going one day at a time. Matt & I have already had conversations deciding to switch to formula, I just haven't been able to let go of the small bit of hope I still have. I've cried more tears from this pain than I have in all my life, and at five weeks old I finally started pumping and bottle feeding, but after a couple days I realized that was causing even more problems so stopped and started breastfeeding again.
I've adjusted my diet as much as possible to try and kill this off, and have been trying new probiotics and other things. Next week we are looking for help one more time and seeing an amazing OB that I'm pretty hopeful about. They have called twice just to see how I'm holding up and offer a few tips.
Even with an unpromising start, I've loved nursing my baby and hope to continue for a while, but at the end of the day I know I need to be as healthy as possible emotionally and physically, so I'm ok with eventually switching to formula if that's what has to work best for our family. But for now, send prayers for next week!
And on a happier note, here's a picture of my beautiful boy :)
Oh my gosh Carrie. I had no idea thrush could be that bad. I really don't have any advice, but if you haven't "liked" "The Leaky B@@B" on facebook yet, I would go on there and maybe ask other moms how they've dealt with it. I ask question on their wall all the time.
ReplyDeletePraying for you and little man!
Yeah, I had no idea either. It's pretty extreme for sure. Unfortunately I've spent night & day looking for suggestions through people online since nothing else we have tried has worked, and neither have the suggestions I've found online. I've been on antibiotics for weeks while trying other things too, and no relief. Our LC said that from what she has seen moms typically end up weaning when they have a resistant case of thrush because of the pain and not being able to treat it.
ReplyDeleteSomehow, we are still holding strong for now, defiantly appreciate prayers!